Yavin Sunset
by Maram68
Summary: What were Mara thoughts the night before the wedding? OH, I forgot...... would you PLEASE review? thanks ! :


Yavin Sunset (1/1)  
  
Rating : G  
  
Disclaimer: Well, they belong to George Lucas and Timothy Zahn, even though I cherish them as if they were my own.  
  
The sun was slowly going down behind the treetops of the Yavin jungle.  
  
The day was almost over, and with the shadows of the night came to Mara Jade the absolute certainty that the following day would change her life forever.  
  
Until now, she had felt carried away by the maelstrom of her feelings and the events that had led her this far: the death of the Emperor, joining up with Talon Karrde, meeting Luke Skywalker on Mykr, many years of collaborating with the New Republic and the stormy and strange friendship she forged with the Jedi Master after that.  
  
Then came the mission to Nirauan, which resulted in the force bonding with Skywalker and his marriage proposal.  
  
She had surprised everybody, including herself, by accepting the proposal and having faced her own fears and insecurities regarding the intelligence of her decision in the reactions of everyone she knew. She had come this far, standing the night before her wedding in her temporary quarters at the Jedi Academy on Yavin.  
  
She was supposed to relax and meditate, and prepare herself for the Jedi- ceremony the next day. And for the very first time for many years she was afraid and insecure.  
  
Mara had no doubt of her feelings for Luke Skywalker.  
  
She loved him, if you could describe love as the only way of feeling completion and peace of mind sharing every minute possible of your life with your soul  
  
mate.  
  
She wanted him, every lightest move he made branding her senses and keeping her in almost painful awareness of his presence, both soothing and exhilarating.  
  
And she was also aware that sharing the rest of her life with him was her best shot at happiness.  
  
But...  
  
The night had fallen over Yavin, and in there were lights lit in the quarters of the students and wedding guests at the Academy.  
  
She remained in the dark.... standing alone, trying to sort her thoughts out, for once not relying in her sense of danger or her swift and mostly accurate instinctive reactions.  
  
Mara Jade recited the Jedi code and tried to focus on relaxing as she went slowly down to the floor and tried to meditate ....... there was no peace in her mind and that deeply hidden part of her sub-conscience that was forever out of her control took over: she could hear his voice again, and dread filled her as she understood the meaning of the words.... betrayal.......pain......denial ....dead ......  
  
She shook her head forcefully, as if by sheer force she might get the Emperors bitter words out her head... Those were Palpatine's words, right? Or were these her own thoughts, warning her of her future?  
  
Luke was as always generous and kind and had accepted her in spite of her past. He was such a naive farmboy again!! She couldn't just erase the title of The Emperor's Hand and her actions during her service to the empire and declare she started with clean slate, because even if she could get past that (even  
  
though she could never forget), there were more people besides her and Luke out there. And those weren't likely to forget ..... even if only to hurt them out of envy for their newfound love.  
  
Could she impose that on Luke? He was such a good man, a respected war hero, the only living Jedi Master, so trusting and confident in being able to work out all the wrongs in the galaxy.  
  
And there was so much more to their relationship than being opposites attracted to each other like metal to a magnet ....... what would happen to their friendship and camaraderie once they were married?  
  
And then, what of their future together? She had decided to complete her Jedi training, but once she mastered the ways of the Force, would she be able to stay away from the Dark Side that had controlled her every action for so many years?  
  
She could imagine that Luke wished to have children .... but the prospect of having a family life scared her to death, having never ever considered having a chance of making a normal life...... what did she know of normal anyway?  
  
Trust Skywalker to get himself in a mess and pull her into it, this time regarding their "relationship" ...  
  
If she just could get out of Yavin, have some time to think things over and find answers instead of only thinking of new questions...  
  
But on one hand there was no Jade Fire anymore, no home, nowhere to run. And on the other hand she would never go away, knowing how that would hurt Luke. She would rather die than hurt, betray or deny him.  
  
Betrayal.......pain......denial ....dead ...... there were the words again.  
  
Mara Jade smiled, taking a deep breath before immersing herself in the Jedi trance that would prepare her for the Jedi-Bonding.  
  
Her last thought before letting the Force flood her was that she now knew why she was getting married.  
  
Luke was to her all she needed: trust, peace, life and love. 


End file.
